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I know lying is wrong, but if the elephant man came in now in a blouse with some make up on, and said "how do I look?" Would you say — bearing in mind he's depressed and has respiratory problems — would you say "go and take that blusher off you mis-shapen headed elephant tranny"? No. You'd say "You look nice... John" Quick tip for yourself: if you're ever doing an after-dinner speech, you say "My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, sorry I'm late, I just popped to the toilet. And while I was there, I saw some graffiti and it...

I know lying is wrong, but if the elephant man came in now in a blouse with some make up on, and said "how do I look?" Would you say — bearing in mind he's depressed and has respiratory problems — would you say "go and take that blusher off you mis-shapen headed elephant tranny"? No. You'd say "You look nice... John" Quick tip for yourself: if you're ever doing an after-dinner speech, you say "My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, sorry I'm late, I just popped to the toilet. And while I was there, I saw some graffiti and it...

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